Posts filed under: ‘Uncategorized‘

Things I’m Offended by

Goddess Bless my loves!
It occurred to me that there is not an official list of the things that offend me, and I decided to write one. I want to make sure we are all in agreement here on the sacred e-space.

1. Human Male sex organs
2. Special soaps just to “de-oderize” vagina’s. ex eve’s summer breeze
3. Republicans
4. Any food that isn’t macrobiotic
5. Heterosexuals
6. Leather Pants
7. People who shave, wax or laser their glorious body/facial hair
8. All television except for PBS, and LOGO
9. THong underwear
10. Christian Theology

ANd with the spirit of warm acceptance and gratitude I invite yee, my fellow goddesses, to add on in the comments section of the e-space the thing which offend you, and therefore should offend me as well!


2 comments April 13, 2011

Tears at the Dentist; a Hairy tail

This morning I was  at my holistic tooth healer,  happily anticipating a gum massage and tooth chant  when i was disturbed by a beeping noise emenating from my cellular telphone.

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It was a terrible message from my cat sitter. I had foolishly entrusted my most beloved creature, Axeotomarious Rose, My feline Life Partner to the care of a biological male human. (I never leave axotomarius rose alone, not for a moment) In the 20 minutes since I had left my house, this so called cat sitter “accidently” let Axeotomarius out of the front door, and had not seen him in minutes.
Well, the tears were rolling down my cheeks like mad. I had waited months for this appointment, as this tooth healer has quite a waiting list, and the spiritual energy in my molars has been unbalanced and needing an adjustment.
Some people would describe my predicament as “a pickle” but i choose to not use such a phallic metaphor. Rather i would say, i was in a bind. A no win situation.
Luckily, my phone beeped again moments later, and my soon to be EX cat sitter informed me that Axeotamarius Rose was simply sitting a few feet away from the front door looking petrafied, and had been taken back inside. I quickly called my cat therapist to make an emergency trauma counseling session later that day.
SO all ended well, but the lesson to be learned is NEVER RELY ON A BIOLOGICAL MALE FOR ANYTHING. PERIOD.

1 comment February 23, 2011

The Goddess is punishing me

I have been removed from the Goddess and she is now punishing me.  I have been doing all that I can (outside of Hail G*DDess) but it is not enough.  She has been trying to communicate for some days now how upset she is with me through several signals, but as you might guess, I’ve not been receiving them because my heart, soul, and the mighty dolphin within has been buried under months and months of working 9am-6pm,  moving and settling into a new aptartment (with no garden!), and grieving over the loss of one of my feline companions.  

But yesterday – one of her signals finally got through to me.  I am ashamed that it had to be this direct. But I am overjoyed that she has set me back on the right path.  She has graced me with a YEAST INFECTION. 

For a few days now, I’ve felt discomfort, sensitivity and an uncontrollable itch in my lady parts and all that I hold dear.  As you can imagine, I was worried and began wondering what I did wrong.  Why does my vagina feel unhappy?  The Goddess is unhappy with me.

For a few days now, I’ve felt discomfort, sensitivity and an uncontrollable itch in my lady parts and all that I hold dear.  As you can imagine, I was worried and began wondering what I did wrong.  Why does my vagina feel unhappy?  The Goddess is unhappy with me.  

I am going to turn it all around.  My wonderful gift from the Goddess, V (my life partner) has found ways to restore happiness in the vagina.  At breakfast this morning, after our morning chant and meditation, she presented me with a  two bowls of Yogurt.  One to eat and one to insert into the Vagina.  

Soon… my Vagina will rejoice.  Soon, the Goddess will smile upon me once again.  Soon the mighty dolphin will swim in my dreams and my Vagina will once again return to its full potential.


1 comment February 21, 2011


Add a comment December 6, 2010

The G*Dess Has told Maria the Dess Hiatus is over!

For personal, spiritual and dietary reasons, Dess Maria and I  silently agreed that the sacred Hail Dess blog needed a hiatus.

And this was good, as the Goddess knows what is best.  Maria moved to a new land, and began a new job wherein she empowers womyn in the arts.  I spent more quality time with my magnificent cat Axeotamarious Rose.  These are the things the Goddess wanted.

The Goddess have given several signs that it is time to begin writing about her again.

1. last night, driving home, I was behind a car with a bumpsticker which read simply and beautifully “Goddess”

2. Maria and her true Love Goddess V. Have settled into their new life, living in ecstacic lesbian bliss with two cats and many organic vegan dinners, and the Goddess appeared to V. in a pot of tea and told her to tell maria it was (and I quote) “time to write a new blog entry.”   (The goddess is very specific when she communicates with Dess V.)

3. I awoke this morn’ to discover the Goddess has graced me with my Womynstration

And so it was, and is.


Add a comment December 2, 2010

The Importance Of Friendship

I want to begin by saying that no friendship is meaningful unless it is between two or more Womyn.  The friendships that men feel for each other are simply the links in the oppressive chains of the patriarchy.

The bonds between womyn are the feathers which make up the wing of an non denominational angel.  I found this inspiring artistic interpretation of friendship on a google image search, and would like to share it with you dear reader, because if you read this blog than you are my friend. As long as you have a vagina.

Add a comment March 18, 2010

Gratitude, Oprah and the Goddess

Oprah, Goddess of all Media.

There are no words… NO WORDS to express how I feel about her.

Adrienne Rich once wrote  “Whatever happens, this is”

However, The Goddess of All Media has inspired me.  She inspired me to start keeping a gratitude journal!  I read in O magazine that keeping a gratitude journal for one year CHANGED Oprah’s life.  Well, considering we all want some of what Oprah’s got, I’ve been doing the same.

And today, my precious lovelies, my darlingist doodles, My CUPCAKE COVERED SYSTERS IN FEMALE WORSHIP, I AM GOING TO SHARE an ENTRY from My PERSONAL PRIVATE MOST SECRET Gratitude Journal. I’m Doing this because I hope to inspire you all to start writing one.

Today I am grateful for…

  • Gluten Free Options
  • vaginal discharge
  • Oprah, Goddes of all Media
  • My Feline Companion, Axotemarious Rose
  • Haildess, the sacred Cyber Community

1 comment February 18, 2010

Spritual Advisor (meee-ow!)

Greetings my beautiful friends with vaginas!!!  As part of my continuing journey into the present moment, i am only writing about the things which impact me today.  I’m currently sitting crosslegged in a beautiful sunlit room, drinking warm water with organic lemon.

In exactly an hour I’ll be in a meeting with my spirtual advisor, discussing the meaning life.  I won’t tell you who my advisor is yet, but this picture is a hint.  Let me know if you have any guesses!!!

Any way, i have to go to the bathroom before I leave and relieve myself, and than annoit my skin with essential oils, don my paisly toga, and hit the road!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE

Add a comment February 17, 2010

Triple Goddess Rainbow Tote (grocery) Bag

First of all, my beautiful goddess sisters, I must apologize for my long absence.  I went on spur of the moment Electricity Fast, and so haven’t even been near a computer in months.  Many amazing and beautiful things occured during this time, but my new resolution is to stay consistently in the present moment, so instead of thrilling you with the salacious details of my last few months (during which I went on a Tantric Orgy Goddess Cruise) I’m going to tell you about My new favorite thing:

The TRIPLE GODDESS RAINBOW TOTE (Grocery) BAG!!!!!  Available from for a mere 14.95!!!!

Walking with this bag, I am celebrating the GODDESS, my Sexuality and sustainable living all in one grand sensual gesture!

The website where you purchase this marvelous contraption describes it in the following way:  ”

“The Triple Goddess is a concept in which the Goddess is split into three aspects – Maid, Mother, and Crone. These aspects correspond to the three phases of the moon – waxing, full, and waning. The rainbow flag has become the easily-recognized colors of pride for the gay community. The colors of the flag: red, light; orange, healing; yellow, sun; green:, calmness; blue, art; lilac, the spirit.”

Any way my dearest friends and systers! I’m BACK!!! COME back to read more in the following days to come!! BLESSESSSS

Add a comment February 17, 2010

Show us YOUR man boobs!!!

I am writing from the belly of the Goddess right now, aka my volunteer post at The Lesbian/Goddess Community center.  There is a lull in my evening duties, a sign from the Goddess to Discuss the important issues with the memebers of the sacred Goddess E-Space.

I know I recently promised an expose on the Man Breast, but I stumbled across some problems– I dont know any men, let alone any who would volunteer to have their bosom’s photographed.  If you, or any one you know would volunteer to model, we here at Hail Dess would be– well,a bit less angry.

I mean, it seems to me after the years of patriarchal oppression YOU horrid men could take off your shirt FOR one LOUSY photograph in service of WOMYN.  But, why would I expect such consideration from creatures as foul as men.  MEN OF THE WORLD, send me a photgraph of your chests, or I will forever stop talking to you!!!  Janet Jackson bared a nipple for YOU MEN at the Super Bowl, so why can’t you do if for the benefit of the mighty sacred espace??

please send photos to

Add a comment November 5, 2009






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